A Stumbling Block or Two
Her name is Caroline, but no one ever calls her that… except her teacher on the first day of school. Her father never married her mother… he left when she became pregnant in her last year in high school. Her mother never graduated. She had to drop out to take care of her baby. Her parents… Caroline’s grandparents are dead. Caroline’s mother works at a local restaurant as a waitress, making barely enough money to feed them both… and sometimes dinner is just a baked potato and water… or a bowl of cold cereal. Caroline remembers a succession of men in her mother’s life… she remembers their faces, but not their names. None of them stayed very long once they learned that her mother had a child. Some were kind, but most were not. Caroline and her mother rarely go to church. Her mother is always tired. Caroline is alone a lot.
His name is Jeremy. His father is a businessman, but he travels a lot and is rarely home. His mother works at a local nonprofit organization. Her days are long because the only time she can meet with the volunteers is after work hours. They have a nice house in a nice neighborhood, but most of the time it’s empty. Jeremy’s grandparents live in another state. He rarely sees them. There’s plenty of food in the house, but no one there to cook it, so Jeremy often has a microwaved pizza or fast food for dinner. He watches television and plays video games to make the time go by. Jeremy and his parents rarely go to church. His mother is always tired. Jeremy is alone a lot.
Life was not always this way for most families in this country. There was a time when most families were two-parent families… when only one parent worked… when grandparents and other extended family members lived close by… when the church was a vital part of each week and a focal point of social activity. But that time has passed. Many things have changed in the society in which we live. Most of the children being raised in our communities today do not have a nurturing family environment that includes members of an extended family. They are lucky if they live in a two-parent home… or a home where both parents are home every evening. They are lucky if they know their grandparents… aunts… uncles… cousins. They are lucky if there is a hot, home-cooked meal where everyone sits down together. They are lucky if their fathers and mothers talk to them about the issues they face and how to deal with them… rather than being tuned in to the television set. The church is lucky if the family worships together on Sunday. The church is no longer a social center in the life of most Americans. It is usually an afterthought. And the children? Well… they are often an afterthought as well.
At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven”… and the word “humble” here refers to their social position and circumstances, not their attitude. “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea.”
In a society dominated by men, I am sure that the disciples were shocked when Jesus responded to their question in the way that he did. They were probably expecting Jesus to speak of great teachers… or healers… or religious leaders. A child… the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? Children had no worth in ancient Palestine. They were at the bottom of the social totem pole. They were lucky if they lived to adulthood. Why did Jesus think that children were important? Why would anyone take the time to welcome a child? And yet, Jesus clearly says that whoever welcomes one child in the name of Christ welcomes Christ himself.
I believe that there are several things that we can learn from Jesus’ approach to children. The first is that Jesus never sent the children away. In fact, he rebuked the disciples when they tried to keep the children away from him. While in our society, there has been a time when “children were seen and not heard,” that phrase is not found in the Bible… and those words were never spoken by Jesus. Instead, in all of the synoptic gospels… in Matthew 19, Mark 10,and Luke 18… Jesus tells his disciples, “Let the children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.” If Jesus would say such a thing in a time when children had no value at all… when they were at the bottom of the social totem pole… then it is a powerful message for us today… and it is one of the primary reasons why the Presbyterian Church (USA) encourages the participation of children and youth in every aspect of church life.
I, personally, don’t care whether we have a nursery or not. I love the sound of children in worship. I love seeing families sit together. Sometimes, I think we forget that this is God’s house… not ours… and that God never turned the children away. Do they sometimes misbehave? Yes. But that is an opportunity to teach… and an opportunity to enjoy. More stories are told in family circles about the day that Junior misbehaved than about the days when he was perfect. And those stories are the stuff of family memories… long after the children have left home and gone to a place of their own. Church is also a rare time for families to be together. “Let the children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.”
Another thing that Jesus said is that we must change and become like children or we will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Never. Not that entering the kingdom would be difficult, as it is for the rich man… but never. We… who are adults… who have molded ourselves… or are trying to mold ourselves… into the people we believe God desires … we who think that we are so much wiser than the children… who believe that they have nothing to teach us… Jesus says that we are the ones who need to change… to become more like them … more like the children… than like their parents… in order to have any hope of entering the kingdom. But, when was the last time that any of us stopped to listen… really listen… to the conversations of children? When was the last time that we asked one of the children to tell us about God… and we listened… with an ear to learn… rather than with an ear to correct or change them?
We often think of children as self-centered little bundles of energy… constant motion with no manners… more often messed up than dressed up. Yet children are open to new adventures and new experiences in their lives… they have an unbridled curiosity about life… children are single-minded and tenacious in their pursuit of an objective… and children openly and fearlessly reflect the character… and the manner… of those they choose to emulate. Their hearts are on their sleeves… and their moods swing wildly from laughingly enthusiastic… to tearfully distraught. We who are “mature” adults have learned by experience to deal with life… and all that it throws our way… with moderation. Thus, we rarely laugh with the abandon of a child… and we rarely sob with the pathos of a child. Instead, both our laughter and our tears are subdued. We rarely pursue anything with single-minded determination… or grasp anything with ferocious tenacity. Instead, we rarely share our deepest desires with any other human being… and we often only make a half-hearted attempt at our objective and then find an excuse to abandon it… telling others that the grapes were sour anyway. Is it any wonder that our faith is also lukewarm… that our worship follows an unchanging pattern that is hesitant to explore new directions… and our pursuit of a life in Christ is characterized by personal comfort rather than personal commitment? What has happened to our sense of adventure… our unbridled curiosity… our ability to be fully engaged in our faith?
Have you ever seen a child portray Spiderman… or Superman… or any other superhero? They can flawlessly portray the character of the being that they have chosen to emulate. They have studied that character in depth… as parents can attest who have played one particular video for the fortieth time? We come to church on Sunday and ask God to make us more Christ-like… but how many of us have studied Christ at the level that our children have studied Spiderman? Are we able to emulate Christ with the passion… and the accuracy… that our children can emulate Spiderman? "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
And finally, “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” "If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea.” I challenge each of us today to ask ourselves if we have been a stumbling block to any child in this congregation… or in this community. We are called to emulate Christ. And children naturally emulate those they admire and respect. When was the last time that any of us saw a child emulate us… or should I say, when was the last time that any of us saw a child emulate the things that are Christ-like in us? Do we show the love of God in our interaction with each child that God puts in our path each day? Do we welcome each child as we would welcome Christ himself?
We who believe that we are wiser than the children… and seek to mold them to our ways… or confine them to a space where they cannot disturb us… we need to remember that they were given to us as a gift from God. They are a part of the family of God… a family that is much more critical to the fabric of society now that changing times have torn our nuclear and extended families apart. We need to welcome the children as we would welcome Christ himself. … not only so that we can teach them… and nurture them… and help them grow in their faith… but also so that they can teach us… and nurture us… and help us to grow in our faith. Perhaps then, we might witness a restoration of our ability to emulate Christ… and to see the passion… the pathos… the joy… the curiosity… the tenacity… the commitment… of our faith in God return. Amen.
Matthew 18:1-6; Proverbs 22:6