Who Are You?

On the front of your bulletin today is a poor reproduction of Rembrandt’s famous painting, “The Return of the Prodigal Son,” that hangs in the Hermitage in St. Petersburg. That painting is the focal point of the book by the same name, written by Henri Nouwen, that explores each of the three main characters in the painting: the father… the younger son… and the older son.  The question that Nouwen asks is this: In this story of leave-taking and return… of betrayal and forgiveness… of rejection and reconciliation… who are you?  At this point in your life, are you the welcoming, ever-loving and forgiving father… the unworthy, seeking and repentant younger son… or the hurt, angry and judgmental older son?   Does the character that you identify with in the story make a difference in what this story says to you?

Many years ago, when I was studying for my master’s degree in counseling, I had the opportunity to interview several women who had lived in violent relationships.  I got to know one woman very well and I want to share a part of her story with you today.  An intelligent, fun-loving young woman from a good Christian home, this woman had grown up believing that people were basically good and that God protected his own from harm.  Upon graduating from college, with this country in the grip of a recession, she had taken a job as a salesclerk in a department store. In the days before the work environment was as protected as it is today, her manager pressured her into dating him and, when her roommate moved out, leaving her holding the lease on an apartment she could not afford, her manager moved in. Within weeks, this man exerted total control over her life, through threats… beatings… isolation… and financial dependence.  He coerced her to marry him and then, quit his job, forcing her to work three different jobs, seven days a week, to pay the bills.  Twice, she tried to escape, but without money, she was soon forced to return to her abuser.   Shortly after her second return, she became pregnant. The beatings continued through her pregnancy, but nine months later, she had a beautiful baby boy. One night, when the child was about eighteen months old, there was a particularly violent argument. In his effort to control his wife, the man threatened to harm the child. The very next day, this young woman left her abuser, taking with her the clothes she was wearing… the child… and whatever necessities she could squeeze into her car.

In the years that followed, with some financial help from her parents, this young woman was able to make a new start… changing jobs… going back to school… and working her way up from the bottom to a senior management position. But she was unable to forgive this man for destroying her life… her dreams… her career… and her sense of self-worth.  For years, she hated him, nursing a deep anger and resentment that spilled over into her relationships with other people.  She rejected God… for she believed he had abandoned her, and she rejected the church… bitter that no one had offered assistance to her when she desperately needed it. She was definitely an example of the older son in the way that her hatred… anger… bitterness… and mistrust shaped her life.

In October, 2006, Charles Carl Roberts entered the West Nickel Mines School, an Amish one-room schoolhouse in the Old Order Amish community of Nickel Mines in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.  He took the female students hostage, tying them up and eventually shooting several of them “execution-style” in the back of the head. Then, just as the troopers broke into the schoolhouse, Roberts turned the gun on himself, committing suicide. Three Amish girls died at the scene and two more died early the next morning.  Five others were left in critical condition. 

The entire nation was horrified and angered by what this man had done, but the Amish community responded with an emphasis on forgiveness and reconciliation that was widely discussed in the national media.  On the day of the shooting, a grandfather of one of the murdered Amish girls was heard warning some young relatives not to hate the killer, saying, "We must not think evil of this man."  Another said, "I don't think there's anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts." A spokesman for the Roberts family said that an Amish neighbor comforted the Roberts family hours after the shooting and extended forgiveness to them. Amish community members visited and comforted Roberts' widow… parents… and parents-in-law. One Amish man held Roberts' sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him. The Amish set up a charitable fund for the family of the shooter. About thirty members of the Amish community attended Roberts' funeral and Marie Roberts, the widow of the killer, was one of the few outsiders invited to the funeral of one of the victims.  Later, Marie Roberts wrote an open letter to her Amish neighbors, thanking them for their forgiveness… grace… and mercy. In it, she wrote, "Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. Your compassion has reached beyond our family… beyond our community… and is changing our world… and for this we sincerely thank you."

Some commentators criticized the swift and complete forgiveness with which the Amish responded, arguing that forgiveness is inappropriate when no remorse has been expressed, and that such an attitude runs the risk of denying the existence of evil. Those who understand the Amish responded that "letting go of grudges" is a deeply-rooted value in Amish culture. The Amish willingness to forgo vengeance does not undo the tragedy or pardon the wrong, but rather constitutes a first step toward a future that is more hopeful. The West Nickel Mines School was demolished in the week following the incident and a new schoolhouse, the New Hope School, was built at a different location.  To this day, there is an on-going relationship between members of the Amish community and the family of the shooter. In this story, they have become a living example of the forgiving father figure.  Their willingness to move past their own pain to embrace the family of the one who caused that pain has been a shining example of love… forgiveness… and grace.

Most of us do not have to go far to find an example of the younger son.  For most of us here, that story lies very close to home.  Perhaps the most well-known example of the younger son lies in the story of John Newton, the man who composed the hymn, “Amazing Grace.”  The son of a commander of a British merchant ship, John first went to sea with his father in 1736. In 1744, Newton was impressed into service on a British man-of-war. Finding conditions intolerable, he deserted but was soon recaptured… publicly flogged… and demoted from midshipman to common seaman.  He was exchanged into service on a slave ship and became the servant of a slave.  In 1748, while attempting to steer the ship through a particularly violent storm, Newton experienced what he referred to later as his “great deliverance.” He recorded in his journal that when all seemed lost and the ship would surely sink, he cried out, “Lord, have mercy upon us.” The ship was spared and, for the rest of his life, he observed the anniversary of May 10, 1748, as the day of his conversion.

Several years later, after a serious illness, John Newton gave up seafaring forever. He became surveyor of tides at Liverpool, where he came to know George Whitefield and John Wesley, two towering figures in the Calvinistic Methodist Church. He decided to become a minister and applied to the Archbishop of York for ordination. When the Archbishop refused his request, Newton persisted in his goal and he was subsequently ordained by the Bishop of Lincoln.  He became a curate in Olney and there, he and the poet William Cowper collaborated on several editions of Olney Hymns, which achieved great popularity. The first edition, published in 1779, contained the hymn, “Amazing Grace.”  Historians credit Newton’s journals for much of what is known today about the eighteenth century slave trade. In 1780 Newton left Olney to become rector of St. Mary Woolchurch, in London. There he drew large congregations and influenced many, among them William Wilberforce, who later became a leader in the campaign for the abolition of slavery in the British Empire. Today, Newton is most remembered for being an example of the younger son… a man willing to humble himself before God… an infidel and libertine turned minister in the Church of England.

Perhaps, a more modern example of the younger son can be found in the life of Charles Colson. Former Special Counsel for President Richard Nixon, Colson was known as Nixon's "hatchet man." Slate magazine described Colson as "Richard Nixon's hard man, the 'evil genius' of an evil administration." Colson himself wrote that he was valuable to the President because he was “willing to be ruthless in getting things done." Colson authored the 1971 memo listing Nixon's major political opponents, later known as the Nixon “Enemies List.” News stories quoted Colson as saying that he would run over his own grandmother to re-elect Nixon.

Colson was the first member of the Nixon administration to be incarcerated for Watergate-related charges. He was commonly named as one of the Watergate Seven, though he was never charged with, or prosecuted for, any crime related to the Watergate break-in or its cover-up. However, he did plead guilty to obstruction of justice in another case and served seven months in prison.  As Colson was facing arrest, a close friend gave him a copy of Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis, which led Colson to become an evangelical Christian. When news of his conversion emerged much later, several U.S. newspapers and news magazines ridiculed the conversion, claiming that it was a ploy to reduce his sentence.  During his time in prison, Colson became increasingly aware of what he saw as injustices done to prisoners and shortcomings in their rehabilitation. He became convinced that he was being called by God to develop a ministry to prisoners with an emphasis in promoting changes in the justice system. Colson's later life has been spent working with the non-profit organization he founded called "Prison Fellowship," which has touched the lives of thousands of incarcerated men in the name of Christ.

When we can see the destructive power of hatred and vindictiveness in our own lives and the visible evidence of the healing power of forgiveness and grace in the lives of others, why do we hold on to the anger and bitterness we feel when we are hurt by others?   Return, for a moment, to the picture on the cover of our bulletins today and the story of the prodigal son as told in scripture.  What we usually focus on in this story is the reconciliation of the father with the younger son.  It is an amazing revelation of the love of God for all of us who have sinned… and will sin… against God.  Where else will we find so much evidence of the depth of God’s love… outside of the story of Jesus’ crucifixion?  From the father’s willingness to let his son go… and his willingness to give his son an inheritance he has not earned… knowing that he will squander it… from the father’s ceaseless vigil in watching and waiting for his son’s return… from the father’s sure knowledge of his son’s form and gait even when he was still a long distance away… from the father’s willingness to abandon all dignity to run to welcome him home… and his eagerness to restore his son’s place in the family without rebuke, but with joy and thanksgiving… all of these are amazing and wonderful signs of a father’s love!

But embedded within this story is the story of the anger and bitterness of the older son… who also had no right to complain… for he had enjoyed every privilege of an older son for all the years that he had been in his father’s home.  And yet, how often in that story do we see ourselves… angry… twisted… bitter… envious children with a sense of entitlement?   How clearly has our savior warned us against this?   We read in the Gospel of Matthew, as Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray, he says “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors…For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”  Later, he tells them, "Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.  Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' while the log is in your own eye?  You hypocrite,” Jesus says, “first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye.”  And much later, when Peter asks him, "Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times,” and then tells him the parable of the talents with the unforgiving servant.

The teaching is clear and yet, we hold on to our grudges and nurse our complaints against each other.  How long will it take for us to move from nursing our grudges to mutual forbearance… and from mutual forbearance to love and grace?  How would our world change if we could learn to do this… not once in seven years… or once in fifty years… but each day and every day?  Do you remember that young woman in my first illustration?  That young woman was me.  Some years back, that woman discovered the depths of her heavenly Father’s love for her and… ever since then… she’s been trying to reflect that love and grace in her own life.  She’s not always successful, but each day, she finds that it gets easier and easier.  What will it take, I wonder, for the older son to run out to greet his brother with the warmth… passion… and joy of his father?   I wonder.  How would Rembrandt’s painting of “The Return of the Prodigal Son” be different?   Is it worth trying… even if we might fail on our first few attempts… even if our love is rejected... thrown back in our face?   I think so.  Do you?  Amen.

Luke 15:1-3, 11b-32