A Restless Evil
“Why did I say that?” How many times in our lives have we sat and pondered those words? Whether those words referred to a hurtful comment directed at a friend … a careless remark overheard by a stranger… some repeated gossip about a neighbor or co-worker… or a bragging bit of self-aggrandizement… somehow those words slipped out when we were not paying attention and destroyed a relationship… disturbed the peace of the day… or created animosity where none existed before. Why? As James highlights in his letter, one of the chief differences between human beings and the so-called “lower animals” is our ability to speak. While other animals may be able to communicate with each other, to our knowledge, there is no other animals with the breadth of expression and variety of forms of communication as humankind. But is this a blessing or a curse?
This ability to speak seems to be a mixed blessing. Most of our figures of speech about speech are negative – for example: “Mind your tongue!”… “Keep your mouth shut!”… “Button your lip!”… “You’re such a motor mouth!” Most of us can still remember Archie Bunker’s favorite line to his wife, Edith, “Stifle yourself!” The word rhetoric, which only one hundred years ago was used to characterize the noble use of the spoken language is now more often used in a negative way to mean empty words… or meaningless speech. There are even diseases named after a negative view of speech, such as “foot-in-mouth disease”… or “diarrhea of the mouth.” Those who have these diseases know the anguish of wishing they could take back something they have said, but the inexorable movement of time makes this impossible. So they live with their regrets. Cato the elder said that “the first virtue is to restrain the tongue.” Why would people claim that “Silence is golden” unless speech was somehow not the glorious wonder that it could be… that God intended it to be?
James says, “For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue -- a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” These are harsh words about the tongue, but is he wrong? How often have we used our tongue to deceive others and even to deceive ourselves, rather than to reveal ourselves and be transparent to others? How often do we use our tongues to give the opposite impression of what is actually going on inside of us? We say we are not frightened, when we are… not angry, when we are… not upset or hurt, when we are. We pretend we are not embarrassed, when we are. We act like we are agreeable when, in reality, we are not. What makes a “white lie” better than any other kind of lie? Aren’t they both examples of “bearing false witness”… which was definitely not God’s purpose in giving us a tongue… and the ability to speak?
How often do we use our tongues to berate others, instead of to prize them…. to cut them down rather than to build them up… to deflate them instead of encourage them? The metaphor “tongue-lashing” is an apt description of the way in which our tongues can hurt others. If you have ever had a tongue-lashing, you know how much pain it can inflict… and how long the pain lingers in your heart… and in your mind. And then there are those awful words gossip and slander. James equates them to a raging forest fire … “How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire. And the tongue is a fire...set on fire by hell.” Those of us who have watched the destruction caused by the fires in Southern California can see the graphic image of the damage done by the words we speak hastily… carelessly… thoughtlessly… impulsively… irresponsibly… recklessly… to others… about others.
The greatest challenge that is faced by human beings in their significant relationships is communication. Bluntly, we are not good at it… and too few of us work diligently to improve our skills in that arena. The movie, “Fireproof,” which we will see here in our Fellowship Hall on Sunday, October 11th, is a great example of a relationship in trouble because of multiple failures in communication. Almost every failed business partnership… divorce… and even the wars we fight as a nation… can be traced to a failure of individuals to effectively communicate and negotiate their needs… desires… and expectations with others. Rather than facing each other and sharing our thoughts in a mature and responsible way… we resort to innuendo… gossip… and slander that destroys any opportunity to create healthy relationships built on trust and respect. In our text today, James tells us that with our tongue, “we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters,” he says, “this ought not to be so.” And yet, how often it is.
So, how do we turn the tide that James is convinced is against us? How can we tame the tongue… gaining control over this restless evil and turning it into something that, instead, reflects our heritage as Christians? In 1855, a woman by the name of Beth Day published a poem entitled “Three Gates of Gold.” It has been widely distributed and often quoted. In fact, if you Google it, you will find it in multiple languages on websites around the world. It is short and simple, but an excellent place to begin the task of taming the tongue. The Three Gates of Gold says:
If you
are tempted to reveal
A tale to you someone has told
About another, make it pass,
Before you speak, three gates of gold
These narrow gates: First "Is it true?"
Then, "Is it needful?"
In your mind give truthful answer,
And the next is last and narrowest,
"Is it kind?"
And if to reach your lips at last
It passes through these gateways three,
Then you may tell the tale, nor fear
What the result of speech may be.
I was, for many years, a member of Rotary International, an international service club of business professionals whose most visible contribution to the world has been the distribution of the polio vaccine and the eradication of this disease on many continents. Our weekly meetings always closed with the recitation of Rotary’s Four-Way Test of business relationships… which I can still quote today, even though it has been ten years since I last belonged to a Rotary Club: “Is it the truth? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build good will and better friendships? Will it be beneficial to all concerned?” I have often wondered whether Rotary’s Four-Way Test… which was written by Herbert J. Taylor during the Great Depression and adopted by Rotary International in 1942… actually had its roots in Beth Day’s poem, which was published almost a century earlier.
And yet, Rotary’s Four-Way Test is not the only guide that we have for improving our relationships with others through a change in speech. Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People is an entire book that is primarily focused upon how and when to speak in order to improve communication and build trust and respect. I would guess that taking a walk through the “Self-Improvement” aisle at Hastings would reveal that more than half of the books on those shelves deal with improving communication and changing the way in which we speak.
If so much has been written on this subject, then why do we, as individuals, still struggle with this “restless evil?” The answer would be: “It is because we are human!” Despite our best intentions, we are not perfect… and, unfortunately, our tongue is the first to reveal how imperfect we are. All the evil within us… the self-seeking ambition… the greed… the envy… the laziness… bottled-up pain of untold years… finds its outlet through the path of least resistance... our tongue. It is here that words emerge before our brains are fully engaged. It is here that thoughts are spoken out loud before they have been censored by a watchful and caring heart. It is not that we intend to be vicious… or cruel… or careless in our speech. It is that… without constant vigilance and intense scrutiny… the words that emerge will be exactly that.
What helps? The things that have helped me the most are: a time of quiet in the morning… before the day begins… to read my Bible and to pray for God to guide my thoughts… and to guard my tongue. Post-It notes stuck to my bathroom mirror. Reminders that pop up on my computer. Friends who gently encourage… and confront me. It is hard work, but the reward is worth effort. We have just begun a new school year… a new chance to build relationships and strengthen bonds of friendship. In the days and weeks ahead, may God guide all our thoughts and guard all our tongues that we may continually reflect the image of our Savior… in both word and deed. The greatest legacy we can leave is the memory of one who was known for his or her wise and caring words… words filled with the love and grace of God. Amen.
James 3:1-12